A lot of people have commented on all the hard work I have done to lose weight. It’s interesting because of course, in some ways it has been hard work, but it doesn’t feel like hard work.
From the beginning, it has been intentionality every single day!
From the beginning, it has been intentionality every single day! That has been empowering. That doesn’t feel hard – that feels amazing! I think when I understood that this is possible and how God designed our bodies to work – that it is bankable, that there was HOPE, it was easier to fully engage – to be all in!
Being All In
Keeping that in focus has been a process. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure I could even believe it was possible, but I knew that God did not design me to carry over 300 pounds and I believed that Wayne believed it was possible and that God had orchestrated our partnership and brought me to him. I knew that he was all in with me – that I didn’t have to do this alone or figure this out alone. I remember a text I got from him one time that said “We ARE going to do this!” I have no words for what that definitive statement did inside of me! I believed him and I knew he would do what I asked in our first meeting – “Never give up on me”!
Battling lies with the Truth
Now, I will not say that I never struggled with fear about whether this would really happen. We have had many conversations to keep the focus on Jesus and on one day at a time! We all battle so many lies and base our future successes on our past failures, rather than the Truth and Hope of Jesus who lives in us! It has been a process and an awakening to even realize some of the lies I was carrying around and believing.
I love a quote from Keith Urban when asked in an interview if it is a struggle to stay sober (cocaine/alcohol): “It was a struggle to live the life I was living before – that’s where the actual real struggle is – once anyone can sort of say I’d like to surrender and move in a another direction. When I stopped fighting, life ceased to be a war – and that’s really the perfect way to put it.” – Keith Urban
What I now understand about hard work…
- Living most of 20 years over 300 pounds – that is hard!
- Feeling like you don’t know what to do – that is hard!
- Feeling defeated and like a failure – that is hard!
- Feeling like you are missing out on life – that is hard!
- All the physical & mental limitations – that is hard!
- Feeling trapped inside a morbidly obese body – that is hard!
- Watching your husband worry about your health and if you will wake up the next morning (not a fun conversation, but beautifully transparent) – that is hard!
- Even in knowing that, still not knowing what to do and how to get out – that is hard!
- Wondering myself if I will wake up in the morning? – that is hard!
- Is this all there is for me? what about abundant life? – that is hard!
Living in the loving boundaries God has given us to thrive in – that is easy!
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30 (NIV)